Wednesday, February 16, 2005

 

N.H.L. Cancels Regular Season---But Retains Playoffs

The National Hockey League cancelled the 2004-2005 season today when the league's owners and the players' union could not reach agreement on a new collective bargaining contract. However, the N.H.L. announced it nevertheless plans to save the playoffs. "In a normal season, 16 of the 21 teams make the playoffs anyway," noted a league spokesperson, "so we plan to have all the teams be in the playoffs in the Spring, and we figure nobody'll notice the difference."
But what if the owners' lockout of the players doesn't end by then? "Not a problem," the spokesperson said, "our back-up plan is to introduce professional ice-curling. We just have to get the ice curlers used to goals--and body checks."

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